Nobody asked for it, but we are back nevertheless with our traditional post-event grades.

We finally got back on the road for a big adventure after a long (too long) and cold (too cold) winter break. We didn’t have much time to rest in the meantime but it’s finally good to back at it.

Enough with the intro, let’s get to the grades!

GRANGUANCHE
What a route, what an event, what a format! Not many times did we have so much fun, not many times did we cycle through such beautiful and different places, not many times did we get to experience such a service from an event.

Sometimes the service at ultra events is just a warm good luck at the start. Here they got our bike bags to the finish line, they organized a social ride, they put up a live image gallery. Chapeau. GRANGUANCHE – GREAT STUFF! GRADE: 10/10

 

MATTEO MINELLI
Copy paste from above, cause Granguanche is Matteo Minelli. Route designer, race director, photographer, motorbike driver, video maker with a go pro on his knee. We don’t know about that, but he’s most likely also mayor of Los Cristianos, bartender, PR for a night club and so on. ONE MAN SHOW. GRADE: 10/10

MATTIA DE MARCHI
First at the finish line riding the last island (115km, 3.5K D+ after 600km with 10 hours slept on ferries) at 230W average. Then he changes into civilian clothes and gets the Captain dress to drive Sami’s car and follow Jacopo and Asja for a few pics. If you find him around, take the batteries out and send him back to the Enough HQ.

Despite the performance he finds time to buy the ugliest earring ever and to get to the ferries a couple of hours in advance all the time to drink some rum on the beach. JACK SPARROW. GRADE: 10/10

MANUEL TRUCCOLO
What a new entry! He’s pushing like hell for three days but he does not forget to put some sauce on his performance (second place overall) showing the true reasons we asked him to join Enough.

Such a fun guy showing his best skills from the start and a great performer in Tenerife after the event. Colorful pigtail and Alba Optics glasses to hang out on the beach and in the clubs of Los Cristrianos. How can he ride that fast and do all that too – we don’t know. ALL ROUNDER. GRADE: 10 CUM LAUDE / 10

 

THE CLIMB IN GRAN CANARIA
Such a great idea to include a climb which is so long you can celebrate your birthday and New Year’s while riding uphill! STAIRWAY TO WTF. GRADE: 3/10

FRANK BETTINI
We know that would be a challenge and a challenge it was! Frank Bettini vs Mt. Teide. After three islands flying, Franco gets to the first meters of Teide – 20% straight for 1 km – and it feels too tough already for our favorite Mustache.

He loses the ferry to El Hierro and he needs to wait the next day with Fede to get another. He spends 24 hours naked in a hotel room, after bargaining on the price as he was dealing spices at the Souk in Fez.

Done with the Granguanche during a stormy night, he gets back to Tenerife pumped like hell and he keeps dealing and doing business in Tenerife. After a deep market research he wants to come back to open a bike cafe on the island. ENTREPRENEUR. GRADE 10/10.

FEDERICO BASSIS
Celebrating your birthday on a ferry after three days without a shower, eating a creepy sandwich laying in your bag for two days and blowing off a match: a metaphor of his life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! GRADE: 10/10

JANA KESENHEIMER
It’s the first time we crossed paths but we’ve been following her for a while. Can we say once again how strong this girl is? What an attitude, what a spirit, what a talent!

She easily wins the Women’s classification after riding with Frank and Fede in the crazy night of El Hierro and after giving them quite a hard time on every climb of the race. JANA KESEN-HAMMER. GRADE: 10 / 10

JACOPO LAHBI

What should we say? Total bike rides in 2022: six. Four of which on the rollers. He finishes the Granguanche without even noticing, after getting off with the idea to ride a few km and stop for holidays.

His bike reflects the vacation mode at its fullest: all the Miss Grape bags ever produced and one more back carried on top – just in case. He was carrying a swimsuit, a sleeping bag, a towel and maybe a few items from his living room too. Total weight: 17 kg.

We were a bit worried that such a performance on the bike would affect the one on the dancefloor. We were damn wrong. ALL ROUNDER 2. GRADE 10/10

ASJA PALADIN
We left her a bit destroyed in a desert during Badlands and we get her back here in a storm in El Hierro to finish her first big event securing a second place in the women’s classification.

She’s always in control – at least until we’re at sea level. As soon as her Garmin says 2000 ASL on Mt. Teide, she looks much like a teenager after three rounds of tequila. HIGH ON HEIGHT. GRADE: 10/10

SAMI SAURI
Only Chiara Redaschi managed to survive at an event with us so far. From now on, Sami is part of the small crew of content makers and favorite people who managed not to yell at us after 45 seconds working together.

So many smiles, such hard work, h24. And great pictures of course! Let’s not mention how she drives tho and how she relates to four-wheeled veichles. AYRTON SAURI. GRADE: 10 CUM LAUDE / 10

FEDERICO DAMIANI
He shows up with a GoPro, a drone and a camera. Such a shame he shows up sick with high fever and bronchitis too. At some point he’s so weak that it seems like he never rode a bike before.

He gets to the last island nevertheless. Despite the bronchitis, despite the cameras. BOLLYWOOD. GRADE: 9/10

ANNIKA VOSSEN
You can put your bivy in a place smelling like sh*t at 4AM with only 3 hours of sleep ahead before getting up and catching a ferry. But. How can you complain if the first thing you see when you wake up is a blonde girl doing exactly the same with no complaints at all?

We were almost sure that the perfect woman didn’t exist. But after the Granguanche we’ll think harder and we will get back soon with a final answer.

Third woman overall, btw. CAN’T COMPLAIN. GRADE: 10 / 10

TONY CALDERON
The Alejandro Valverde of the Ultracycling world: embatido and top class. He rides hard and he smiles harder on each ferry. We want a Toni every event we ride. Next stop: Italy Divide. See you there, Bala! DON TONI. GRADE: 10/10

LUCIE DENIS
Another super strong girl! She closed the Granguanche and that’s no easy task. We see a lot of potential for guinguette too but the race had quite an impact on her. The two days after the race are made of food, sleeping and some nice detours at the SPA. How can we blame her? LUCIE IN THE SPA WITH DIAMONDS. GRADE: 9 / 10

SIMON TEUTEUL
That’s a grade to his career and to his style. And also to the fact that he is the only one joining the night out in Tenerife. Dear Simon, we’re waiting you and the PCR gravier for a guinguette test in Italy. PCR TEST. GRADE: 9 / 10

HENNA PALOSAARI
Well deserved mention for the only women who didn’t give up and came out for a Gin and tonic in Tenerife while all the others were scratching from the real race.

Anyway, how can we give this girl a grade? Snowboarder, cyclist, she drives a van, she has got the spirit of a warrior. You go on because we cannot! FROM FINLAND WITH LOVE. GRADE: 10 / 10 

JANOSH WINTERMANTEL
Some issues with his GPS – true that – but nothing can hide the fact he manages to battle with Mattia with an incredible performance in El Hierro. Just one minute after the Pirate is no easy task. Third at Badlands, big protagonist here. We will hear from him very soon. YO NO SOY MARINERO. GRADE: 9/10

 

THE FERRIES EMPLOYEES
It’s most likely that when you get a job on a ferry they say your role is to annoy customers and try to make them crazy. Some say there’s even a bonus if you manage to. CUSTOMER DIS-SERVICE. GRADE: 1/10

And that’s all folks. We’re sorry we couldn’t grade everyone but we bet you can understand it takes quite some time to write this down. And also, we didn’t have a chance to ride with everybody. It’s a pity but we promise we will be back: come and find us! Or we will!